Long ago, there was a widowed Chinese farmer. The farmer and his only son labored through the cold winds of winter and scorching rays of summer with their last remaining horse. One day, the son did not lock the gate of the stable properly, and the horse bolted away.
When neighbors learned what happened, they came to the farmer and said, “What a sadness this is. Without your horse, you will be unable to maintain the farm. What a failure that your son did not lock the gate properly. This is a great tragedy.”
The farmer replied, “Maybe yes, maybe no.”
The next day, the missing horse returned to the farmer’s stable, bringing along six wild horses.
The farmer’s son locked the gate of the stable firmly behind all seven horses.
When neighbors learned what happened, they came to the farmer and said, “What happiness this brings. With seven horses, you’ll be able to maintain the farm with three of them and sell the rest for huge profits. What a blessing.”
The farmer replied, “Maybe yes, maybe no.”
The next day the farmer’s son was breaking in one of the wild horses. The son got thrown from the horse, fell hard on rocks, and broke his leg.
When neighbors learned what happened, they came to the farmer and said, “What a great sadness this is. Now, you’ll be unable to count on your son’s help. What a failure to break in the horse properly. What a tragedy.”
The farmer replied, “Maybe yes, maybe no.”
The next day, a general from the Imperial Chinese Army arrived to conscript all the young men of the village into the army. Their assignment was to fight on the front lines of a battle against a terrifying enemy of overwhelming force. The farmer’s son, because of his broken leg, was not taken.
When neighbors learned what happened, they came to the farmer and said, “What a great joy. Your son avoided facing certain death on the front lines of the battle. What a blessing.”
The farmer replied, “Maybe yes, maybe no.”
WHAT DOES THE STORY MEAN?
Perhaps the story of the Chinese farmer teaches us about a suspension of judgment regarding what actually is a tragedy or a triumph. Can we really always tell what is fortunate and what is unlucky? Might the wiser course of action often be to withhold judgment rather than definitively declare what happens as good or bad?
Losing his horse, gaining new horses, his son’s broken leg, and his son’s avoiding deadly combat are all matters that were not within the farmer’s power to control. The farmer is wise in not letting these external matters disturb him.
The farmer seems to have what is asked for in the Serenity Prayer, “God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”
Painful and challenging experiences often lead to development, especially when reframed as opportunities to grow in skills, in virtues, and in bonds.